Leadership #1 – Leadership as mutual and not removed

I’ve almost finished a thesis on leadership development so thought I might share some of the insights that have been inspiring me. First up from Henri Nouwen.

..ministry is a mutual experience.. He wants us to minister not as ‘professionals’ who know their clients problems and take care of them, but as vulnerable brothers and sisters who know and are known, who care and are cared for, who forgive and are being forgiven, who love and are being loved. Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a safe distance from those we are called to lead. Medicine, psychiatry etc all offer us models in which ’service’ takes place in a one-way direction. But how can we lay down our lives for those we do not allow to enter into deep personal relationship with us?

When members of a community of faith cannot truly know and love their shepherd, shepherding quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others, and begins to show authoritarian and dictatorial traits…  … the leadership about which Jesus speaks is of a radically different kind than that offered by the world. It is servant leadership in which the leader is a vulnerable servant who needs the people as much as the people need their leader.

From In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership

It keeps coming back to the far side

“it’s not what you tell them, it’s’ what they hear that counts”

Red Auerbach, Former Boston Celtics Coach

Communication is something that is so intrinsic and so key to all areas of life, and yet the source of so much conflict and misunderstanding. Perhaps if we made more efforts to develop and understand others then we would communicate more effectively, avoiding unnecessary conflict. It’s not enough (and one could say a sign of immaturity) to say “well I told them”. If they don’t understand, then we have to realise that is not simply their problem but ours too. We are the ones who need to work at making sure other people hear the right thing, what we intend them to hear.

The obvious question is how much as the church do we pay attention to this? Are we still expecting people to speak and understand our language without learning theirs?

And then in relationships, we begin to realise that maybe we aren’t so blameless after all and need to start taking some responsibility for how we communicate.

And in work it’s simply not a good enough excuse to use the ” I told him/her” as a means of shifting blame and avoiding responsibility.

Dammit, this means I need to work this out now..

If we can’t trust the integrity of the people who make decisions…

… and laws then how can we trust the decisions they make?

A valid question from a radio phone in this morning. The whole expenses scandal has raised lots of interesting questions. Not just why is the upkeep of a swimming pool so integral to performing the role of a Member of Parlaiment? One phone in listener last night admitted fiddling expenses himself yet was outraged that MPs were doing exactly what he had done. It is true that we hold our leaders to higher standards than ourselves. And rightly so if they are to lead. The moral component of leadership has certainly come to the fore again in recent months and years. we want leaders we can trust, who act with integrity. Yet on another level they are flawed individals like ourselves – but does that mean we should simply excuse ther actions? The issue of trust for me is perhaps the major one. If a leader loses the trust of those s/he claims to be leading then obviouslt those people are no longer following and their leadership in many ways simply becomes positional or in name only. When trust between a leader and those they lead breaks down, how can it be restored? Gordon Brown’s apology is a beginning, and then we want to see evidence of changed behaviour. I’ve been wresting with this question of how trust can be restored when it breaks down as I see it not just in the expenses scandal but in churches and work situations. Patrick Lencioni argues that a lack of trust is the foundational problem in dysfunctioning teams. Again I agree. But how can trust be restored? I’ve grown up hearing “trust has to be earned”, but recently was also challenged by someone who added “trust also has to be given”.  How much are we prepared to give our trust again, and how much should we if we keep having that trust broken? Where does Jesus stuff about not just forgiving a few times but many come into play?

The return of the egos – the Apprentice is back!

Wednesday nights are now being cleared in my calendar (or at least the time to catch up on iplayer) with the new series of the Apprentice. It’s one of the few programmes I watch on TV. I love watching and analysing how people relate to and treat each other, how they work in teams. It never ceases to amaze me how despite the fact that the aim of each programme is to win the task, so many are so self-obsessed that they would rather spend time and energy bickering, proving they are the best, bad mouthing colleagues or deliberately not trying to get others fired. I know after watching their performances I wouldn’t want to employ many of them. They claim to be leaders, to be skilled managers, yet they fail to be able to do some of the simplest tasks working in teams because their egos get in the way. Integrity is certainly not a word you often associate with many of the candidates. Servant leadership is also alien (despite not just being a biblical concept but also accepted in the leadership world). I really don’t like Philip – yes he may be a ‘grafter’ but did he say one positive thing in last night’s programme? Constantly sniping and trying to undermine his team leader. Last night in homegroup we were thinking about Philippians 3 and how Paul’s definition of maturity is someone who knows they haven’t yet arrived, who knows there is more to learn. For us that was a liberating discovery, when we realise maturity isn’t about thinking we are sorted or when we know it all, we can stop pretending, we can stop being defensive and can be free to be the people God created us to be. That sort of person to me is so much more attractive than the arrogance and over-confidence we see displayed on the Apprentice. I’m not a fan of Debra either – the ice queen, who again seems too quick to pull others down.  I wonder how employable going for broke to win the Apprentice really makes you? All that aggression may be good in the short term, but longer term an ability to relate and treat colleagues well does tend to be helpful…